You can try to cover your ass all you want, you incompetent little fuck, but I have audit trails, server logs and backups which prove that you fucked up, then tried to cover it up, then lied about it, while I was working 80-hour weeks trying to clean up your mess and save your sorry ass. Sorry you didn’t like my report—nothing hurts like the truth, eh?
Category: English
On elevators and public transportation
First, elevators. You’ve probably heard that in many elevators, the “close doors” button doesn’t actually do anything. People who have never experienced this think it’s an urban legend, but believe me, it’s true. As pointed out in the Straight Dope article referenced above, in some elevators the “close doors” button has no effect unless the elevator is in “service mode” or “fireman mode”.
Where I currently work, the “close doors” button definitely does work. Everybody uses it, simply because if you don’t, the doors take forever to close. But the funny thing is that if you press the “close doors” button just as the doors are actually closing of their own volition (elevator doors want to be antropomorphised!) they will actually pause for a second or two before closing completely… Continue reading “On elevators and public transportation”
Brand recognition
<mux> I fail to understand why so many people are obsessed with java <Chimera> haven't you heard? java is the biggest brand on the internet <EvilDES> the biggest brand on the internet is lolcats <EvilDES> google comes second <EvilDES> facebook comes third <EvilDES> java is, like, #872463
Restroom mysteries
Why is it that one hour after lunch, all the restrooms are occupied, so that I am forced to use the one normally reserved for the disabled?
OK, I didn’t really need to ask; I just need to remember to go earlier.
But more importantly, why are restrooms for the disabled so damned impractical? They’re supposed to make it easier for disabled people: you can fit a wheelchair through the door and into the room, there are adjustable handlebars to facilitate transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet seat and back, etc. All well and good.
So why the censored is the toilet paper dispenser always installed out of reach?
Now that’s what I call a movie review
I haven’t seen Beowulf, but if you have, or if, like me, you are immune to spoilers, you may enjoy this review. It is absolutely hilarious, while at the same time ringing very true to anyone with a critical view of Hollywood’s usual treatment of literary classics.