Samples from my Inbox, pt 3

(part 1, part 2)

Bottom of the barrel here.

Take a look at good health products

checks backpack Lamotrigine, Rizatriptan, Diclofenac and Zopiclone (prescription), Paracetamol and Ibuprofen (over-the-counter) and three sets of single-use contact lenses. Oh, does WD-40 count?

Time for great nights with your female partner

Not bloody likely, what with my chronic insomnia.

Your girlfriend wants you to be the best

That’s the great thing about a healthy relationship, we both want each other to succeed and support each other’s endeavors.

Here you will find some photos

Hey, I’ve been looking for those! Thanks for finding that memory card.

The easiest way to gain more health

Look, I know I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I’m already eating relatively healthy and there’s nothing easy about working out regularly, especially with a busted knee. Now get off my case!

Samples from my Inbox, pt 2

(part 1)

Do you desire an extra fire in your bedroom life?

Oslo is experiencing a cold spell, and Karin has been complaining about being cold at night. We have a new heating system with thermostats in each room, but I haven’t yet programmed them all. In the meantime, we’ve set up a portable electric heater in the bedroom.

She will be impressed by your strength

I’m out of shape, but still pretty good at lifting and carrying and shit like that.

Enjoy your carnal pleasures

Last night’s chili con carne went down pretty well, even though I ran out of cumin.

Can you have satisfaction 3 times a night?

Some days, I like to come home, hack on FreeBSD for a bit, then cook up a storm and watch a couple of episodes of Doctor Who or Jessica Jones after dinner. Other days, I just want to heat up leftovers and crawl into bed with my Kindle.

Proven way to get rid of male problems

I wish it were that easy, but I don’t think there is a silver bullet for toxic masculinity and all its concomitant problems (such as the GamerGate and Red Pill movements and the rest of the so-called Manosphere).

Vape-shop N1 в России

I get it, you vape.

Samples from my Inbox

(Well, technically, from the University of Oslo’s abuse address, because I’m on call this week, so it is my job to wade through that crap.)

Do you wish to impress your woman every night?

Last night, Karin was in a videoconference, and I made a sausage and chick pea soup so it was done when she came out of our home office. She loved it.

Are you ready to become immense for ladies?

I’m already 1.83 m (6′0″). If Karin wants something from a shelf I can’t reach, well, we own several stepladders.

Do you know what your wife wishes during nights?

Sleep. Which is difficult enough since she’s a very light sleeper, our circadian rhythms don’t precisely align and we have a cat who likes to dance on our bladders before settling down for the night.

Touch her heart tonight.

I am very proud of Karin’s achievements, and try to remind her on a regular basis.

Very good technique to intensify your love life

I’ve heard good things about massage oil.

Achieve every girl’s bed fast

So we’ve been redecorating and when the bedroom was done I had to disassemble, move and reassemble the bed all on my own, because Karin was abroad for a conference and I wanted to surprise her with a finished bedroom when she got back, and it must have taken me a good couple of hours. I could have used a hand.

Keep your girl happy this night

I think I’m going to make chili con carne tonight, I hope she likes it!

Hurtigruten mener seg hevet over norsk lov

Hurtigruten har i flere år, med ujevne mellomrom, sendt reklame til min Gmail-adresse. Så langt i år har jeg mottatt fire såkalte nyhetsbrev fra dem.

Jeg har aldri reist med Hurtigruten. Jeg har heller aldri bedt dem om noe pristilbud, prospekt e.l. som kunne oppfattes som et ønske om å motta reklame. Jeg har aldri kontaktet dem – bortsett fra de gangene jeg har bedt dem om å slutte å sende meg reklame.

Dette er et klart brudd på Markedsføringslovens §15:

 I næringsvirksomhet er det forbudt, uten mottakerens forutgående samtykke, å rette markedsføringshenvendelser til fysiske personer ved elektroniske kommunikasjonsmetoder som tillater individuell kommunikasjon, som for eksempel elektronisk post, telefaks eller automatisert oppringningssystem (talemaskin). […] Krav om forhåndssamtykke etter første ledd gjelder heller ikke markedsføring ved elektronisk post i eksisterende kundeforhold der den næringsdrivende avtaleparten har mottatt kundens elektroniske adresse i forbindelse med salg.

Hurtigruten mener tydeligvis at de er hevet over norsk lov.

Jeg klaget dem inn til Forbrukerombudet for drøye to måneder siden, men har ikke fått noe svar. Klagen min er heller ikke journalført, hvilket i seg selv er et brudd på Offentlighetslovens §10 og dertil hørende forskrift 2008.10.17 nr 1119. Sic transit gloria mundi; Forbrukerombudet pleide å være flinke til å følge opp spam-klager, men for rundt halvannet eller to år siden sluttet de å behandle dem «på grunn av stor saksmengde».

S’il vous plais Donné moi, tout vautre argent

Ils sont marrants quand même ces hameçonneurs…

Bonjour client de Visa Card

Votre Carte Bancaire est suspendue , Car Nous avons remarquer un probleme sur votre Carte.

Nous avons determiner que quelqu’un a peut-etre utiliser Votre Carte sans votre autorisation. Pour votre protection, nous avons suspendue votre Carte de credit. Pour lever cette suspention, Cliquez ici et suivez la procedure indiquer pour Mettre a jour de votre Carte Credit.

Note: Si ce n’est pas achever le 28 Juin 2010, nous serons contraints de suspendre votre carte indfiniment, car il peut tre utiliser pour frauduleuses

Nous vous remercions de votre cooperation dans le cadre de ce dossier.


Support Clients Service.

Je compte vingt fautes de grammaires, sept fautes d’orthographe, quatre erreurs typographiques et plusieurs erreurs de vocabulaire et de style. Le correcteur orthographique de Firefox s’est tapé un anévrisme quand il a vu ça…